Monday, April 27, 2009

The funniest thing I read today. Hopefully it's real.

I am a vocalist (tenor) with 20 years of experience. I prefer to sing melodic metal/opera metal. I will not scream or growl. I am currently holding auditions for a group/musicians to back me up. Honestly, I’ve heard the original music in this town and it’s not good. I’m going to make it big. I don’t have a rehearsal space, so I will come to yours and audition you there. I don't have any eqipment, but once you hear me, it won't matter. Please, no one with fewer than 10 years of experience. I don’t have time to wipe people’s noses. The club owners in this town will be begging me to play their crappy clubs. I am the front man, so my musicians will just play in the background and try not to screw anything up. I’m the man. Are you?


  1. I have no clue what "opera metal" means! Is that anything like "Judas Priest performs 'Barber of Seville'"?

    Actually, that might be pretty cool.

    ...and I love the juxtaposition of "...with 20 years experience..." and "I'm going to make it big." Good luck, chum.

  2. I just joined this guys band and he is really cool. The only things I can't do are talk, whisper, go to the bathroom, fart (already did that and all hell broke loose), play any notes that he didn't write and I can't look at him either. Its ok cuz I am a loser. I flock to dominating leaders who tell me when I can actually go take a shit. Funny thing is the guys breath smelled like shit. Guess you are what you eat.